Now I live in Japan, Days 149-153

In which I worry about small amounts of money and think about why I want to be right all the time

These entries were originally written in a private journal, and were edited and published online in autumn 2024. The whole series can be read here: Now I live in Japan

Day 149, 03/14, A Sunday

Well, I should go into all the odd activities that happened today, because it was a very unusual, very odd day. I don’t know where to begin. I don’t really want to talk about it either. But I suppose I owe it to myself:

We had to sit through three hours of meetings today, the first about that dumb tenth anniversary book which went on for like an hour and half, almost two hours, and then we hashed out some stuff about the English classes. In both cases, nothing was really decided. But it was good to talk, I guess, and we had a good time with Sensei. So then as we’re driving home, Hagino san starts crying about the name of the freaking book and then she’s like, We should do something relaxing. And this something relaxing ended up being a five hour day-trip with the Vermes. We drove all the way out to this beach and took a bath and hung out together. The bath was really nice. Outside, you could see the ocean and it was really beautiful. I don’t like really being naked in front of nature like that, but it was okay. A woman totally walked by, but she didn’t look up so that was okay.

Anyway, we got back at 8:30 and I’m like, where did today go. Screw my nap. Screw doing anything. I’m going to shop, write a blog, and study. That’s all there is, frankly. So I was a little upset, but that’s okay. We had a good time together. Verme Sensei asked about the future plans and that we didn’t really explain anything. He was cool about it though and made me want to be a missionary. But I can’t do that until I do my freaking MDiv and I can’t do my MDiv until I do my MFA and I can’t do my MFA until I’m “done” with whatever it is that I’m doing in Japan. And frankly, I don’t want to teach English for a church anymore. Altogether, my choice are really limited to working at an English school or something, or going home. I’m going to try to be an English teacher, I guess.

Jon said that he would pray that God would give me the peace that my choice was in God’s hands and of God.

Day 150, 03/15, A Monday

Being unable to find my pencil cost me ¥500. Well, more like ¥348, but it was more than I was planning. But this whole I-may-be-getting-a-job-in-the-fall thing is really making me worry less about money. That’s a good thing and a bad thing. Anyway, so I walked up to Gooday, the home store, and wore my new Engrish shirt.

I finished the second story in the kids book that Ishi san’s got me reading and basically it’s about a mouse trying to marry off his daughter. The big problem is that I don’t know if he gets it accomplished, because, here’s the problem: the sun says no, the cloud says no, this other something (which I’m not really clear what it is from either the Kanji or the picture) says no. And in the last two pages, they’re having a parade, but, again, I don’t think anyone’s gotten married. I’m super confused. Ishi san’s going to have to clear it up for me on Saturday.

Tonight’s a real beautiful night. If the Honda girls don’t show up, I think I will make my way out to the beach and look at the stars and stuff. If you can see the stars. I don’t think you’ll be able to, frankly. It’s pretty light even out in the country. I could get some drinking done too, but I drank yesterday so I might steer clear.

Thinking a lot about working for AEON these days, and thinking a lot about what it will be like to live by myself and stuff. Pop gave me some money from his bonus. Consider the scooter purchased. Step-by-step.

Day 151, 03/16, A Tuesday

Being stupid and not carefully reading labels at the store has cost ¥250 as I accidentally bought conditioner instead of shampoo. Now, I’m proceeding to not wash my hair for as long as I can so as to convince myself that I am saving money. Tomorrow, though, I’m sure I’ll have to actually buy some shampoo. My hair gets that nasty after a couple of days like this. So I guess I’ll give in tomorrow when I have to go get my driver’s license translated with the Hagino san.

Of course, the scooter is drawing nearer and nearer and I’m also considering a return to writing in the next couple of days. My parents are going to keep the car that I left when I came here. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned that. The car was one of the things that was keeping me from coming here in the first place, because my parents gave it to me for graduation and then I immediately left the country. If they keep it, then it’s like a kind of back door to my life in the States stays open.

I also purchased a couple of albums yesterday. Good ones. The Pyramid Electric Co. The new Damien Jurado. I also bought Lost in Translation so that I can see what everybody thinks Japan is like. I’ve heard good things. I said in my blog that this year may end up being one of the best years ever. Getting close to 1999. We’ll see though. I have to get my scooter and move out.

Day 152, 03/17, A Tuesday

I spent a lot of today going down to JAF looking for my Japanese driver’s license. It was okay. Me and Hagino san went and got it done, basically. I didn’t get the license, but now I have the translation and that’s a key part of the process. Now I just need to take a couple of tests. Hagino san and I then hung out for a while. We went down to Tenjin and I got some books for the classes and we spoke a lot of Japanese. I need more practice speaking so I got some of that done. We had a good time. DK’s sick so I went to the prayer meeting alone. Prayed in Japanese. It was okay.

Oh! Stanley Hauerwas wrote me back. I was so happy. Seriously, it made my day. He sent me a letter that some Japanese Baptists had set to their US counterparts. It was touching, if not a little misguided. I was just so happy that he got back to me. It really made me happy.

Tomorrow, I will scooter shop.

Day 153, 03/18, A Thursday

Well, I did indeed scooter shop today: and I think I found what I want. I’m going to have to shell out for it, but that’s okay, I think. I’m really happy with what I’m going to get though. It’s not quite a vino, but the body is about the same. So I won’t look like a total jackass. Other than that, now I just need to get a frickin’ license and I’ll be good to go. I’m looking forward to it. And then I will be able to do everything I’ve always wanted to do in Japan, including, uh, everything I’ve wanted to do.

Nothing else really worth noting from today. Except this: Kouki’s mom was asking me about my Japanese class and I responded in Japanese or did my best to respond in Japanese. And she was impressed, or whatever and that made me a little happy and smug that I had been doing so much work on the language. I hate my spirit of competition. I am horrible to want to be better than DK. I am horrible for wanting to outdo everyone in arguments. Chase, this missionary I knew from Eastern Europe who smoked and swore, once said that our desire to be right is tied up in our desire to be righteous. I always want to be right. Always. I am more evil than most that way, I think I need to grow right up and not be so tied into what I am right or wrong about. I’ll pray that God will grow me in this.