Now I live in Japan, Days 126-133
In which I begin to study kanji and go to the Blue Note to see Al Di Meola
These entries were originally written in a private journal, and were edited and published online in autumn 2024. The whole series can be read here: Now I live in Japan
Day 126, 2/21, A Saturday
I had to get up early again, this time so that I could meet Ishsi san down at Tenjin so she could become Ishi Sensei as it were. I started to head down on my bike, but at Meinohama, I was sweating pretty badly and decided to just take the train. So I did that and met her down there and she looked totally like an American, wearing like a sweatshirt and jeans, like the non-work version of her, I guess. Anyway, we went to go pick out a book to study and she picked out this one that was an Introduction to Intermediate Japanese and I’m like, I don’t know if I’ll be able to do that, but I got it and a book about Kanji, so now, I’m going to have to study Kanji I guess. But if this helps me learn to talk Japanese sooner, I’ll take it, even if this book is really more about reading and writing. I want to be recognizing some more Kanji, but I want to be able to talk more.
After that, DK and I walked through Fukuoka for a long time and ended up back in Tenjin around four before I went out to Ohrikoen to study and take a nap both of which I did, though there was more studying then napping. I tried to understand some of the stuff in the book Ishi san had picked out, but it didn’t make any sense. Tonight I looked at the book again, and still nothing but really complicated sentences. It’s like real world Japanese.
I smelled the water at dusk, a smell that I remember very specifically from a time I had at a Christian retreat we used to go to at Cedar Campus in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Jules and I that one summer just skipped rocks on the lake for what seemed like hours at the time. It’s only February, but that smell is like a cool summer night here right now. It makes me want to be happy and go out and just run around in it all night long, but I’m dead tired from everything today and contemplating just going to bed right now. 11:05 would be the earliest I’ve gone to bed in a very long time.
Day 128, 2/22, A Sunday
It was another quiet day Sunday, like most Sundays. Went to church. Sent out a prayer letter. Shopped. Watched Hoop Dreams again. Slept. Studied Japanese. Studied Japanese. Now writing in the journal. After this, I will read the bible then study more Japanese before going to bed.
Sensei also ordered us Japanese bibles which will come in next week. ¥3,000 which I thought was a lot for a bible and I’m so poor right now. Between everything I have to pay for and everything I will have to pay for, I’m not in very good shape at all. It’s bad that this is happening on, what, the 23rd. I don’t get paid again until next week. I’m not going to make it namely because I have to get a Japanese driver’s license and also that bible and pay Ishsizuka sensei. This book she’s got me doing doesn’t make any sense. I worked and worked on it, and was just able to separate the words and I guess that was a big victory for me. Other than that, I felt like a like one of the kids from our class staring at us while we point to a flashcard and ask what the picture is.
On Wednesday, we’re going to see the jazz guitarist Al Di Mieola which is also going to cost money that I don’t have at the moment. And I just gave away some money to the Grabowskis. I’m showing “good faith” as it were with God. I trust. Help me to trust more. I need to trust more. Our prayer letter came out pretty good, I think. DK didn’t really change a lot and it made me think I’m better at drafting and he’s better at editing. Anyway, whatever. Another month until we deal with it again.
Day 129, 2/23, A Monday
Gilbert Sensei, one of the other missionaries, called me today and asked if DK and I wanted to go to Starbucks to hang out and talk, but DK was busy with class stuff so he didn’t go. We talked about most everything that’s been on my mind about missions and I asked a couple of my hard questions about what the point of having gaijin missionaries was. He had some good answers. I asked him about Ishi san and whether or not I should try to curb the relationship, but he seemed to think it was okay. I drank a whole cup of coffee too which is rare for me, but heck, it was free. We talked about learning the language. I talked about wanting to leave the mission work to teach and he asked me why I was considering that and I’m afraid that my answer may be too much money. I said that I liked the “job” aspect of it, which is true and that I wanted the community, which is true, but I mean the money would be great too.
Anyway, so he dropped me off at Meinohama and I was late to my Japanese lesson, but I think Hanaka sensei understood after a while (she was really worried when I didn’t show up, I guess). I felt like I regained a little competence today after talking to her. We had a great class and she gets me talking and doesn’t let me default to English. I gotta make the sentences work. Ishi san isn’t really like that, she’s much more about explaining things and making sure I’m keeping up with the kanji and learning I guess in a more traditional way. It’s a good balance.
I came back and we taught our English classes and I taught the bible study too fast. Miyauchi Sensei basically had to redo my lesson in Japanese, which is a good sign I’d failed. Anyway, DK and I laughed a lot tonight. We’re getting to be good friends and that means a lot to me. I still get frustrated, but that’s okay, I think.
“The Scientist” by Coldplay has too much history for me to listen to without stopping and staring into the distance for little while and wonder if the person it makes me think about is thinking about me too when she hears that song, if she has to stop too and wait it out.
Day 130, 2/24, A Tuesday
One of the things I think that is very weird about being human is that you are rarely satisfied. Tonight, I say that I love Japan and then I’m like, well, I wish this was different and this and this or whatever. I need to be more content, surely that’s a spiritual discipline that you can get better at. I’m still always looking around, wondering what could be fixed. I’m not feeling really great about my teaching ability right now. That’s one thing that I wish were better, and then more money and maybe a girlfriend.
This Japanese is kicking my ass all over the island at the moment. It’s just so hard. I whined a little bit to Ishi Sensei tonight and I think she understood, but I just can’t remember any of these Kanji to save my life. Maybe I’ll be getting better, I do recognize a little bit more these days, but those moments feel like they’re not nearly as frequent as they should be. I also saw the Shiyamamoto kanji and understood two out of three of the Kanji (“mo” and “yama,” easy ones I know).
Anyway, tomorrow, Al Di Meola and maybe the beach.
Day 131, 2/25, A Wednesday
Today: Al Di Meola and the beach.
I went to the beach today and took off my socks, sat in the sand, read the Bible, then studied Japanese, which would have been a pretty incredible day in-and-of itself. But then Al Di Meola was incredible. Absolutely incredible. I wasn’t really convinced when DK suggested we go, particularly because it was so expensive, but it was at the Blue Note and felt like it would be iconinc, like the sort of thing you would remember. Still, I didn’t really trust that it would be as phenomenal as it was: frankly, beyond words. Di Meola tore it up and his backing band was so talented. He had a drummer and a precusionist and the of them were rabid. It was so incredible to watch, like out-of-control in the most controlled way I have ever seen. When Di Meola opened it open 100%, he is untouchable. I mean, just wildly, wildly talented. I was in awe. He also played a couple of slow ones on the classical guitar. His songs were extremely well written. I was interested in everything he played I think. They were dissonant and coherent at the same time. His pianist kicked ass.
I can’t speak Japanese, though. I was terrible trying to talk to the waiter. I made a fool out of myself again.
Day 132, 2/26, A Thursday
I went to class in the morning and hung out. And the afternoon class was pretty good too, with the kids. Two of the kids wanted to sit on my lap while we read and I felt sort of weird about it at first, but the more I thought about it, I realized that I was worrying about it too much and it was actually pretty cool that they were starting to feel more comfortable with me and DK. I taught an inspection class and it went really well, actually: they signed up, but we’re going to be meeting with them on Friday rather than trying to integrate them into this other class so that should be better.
I found the scooter I want. I think I’m getting pretty close to making the decision to get it and start my life as a much more mobile person.
Day 133, 2/27, A Friday
Hello, Kinyoubi. You come so quickly these days. Is this week done? Is this month done? What? Who? Where? I don’t know what any of that means, or what it means that I’ve been here as long as I have. I don’t know why I keep talking about it. I’m fixated on the passage of time. I think it’s incredible. Maybe I’m just an under-educated liberal arts graduate or whatever, but I could think about it all the time, all day. I think about how a moment slips away. I thought about it at Al Di Meola show the other night. About how quickly the present becomes the past and how much we think about the past. It becomes a sort of present.
What am I saying.
Today I taught in the morning by myself. Then sat through a whole meeting at the church that basically had nothing to do with me. Then I went to McDonalds and ate too much, all while thinking about how badly I want a scooter.