Now I live in Japan, Days 114-119

In which we attend a kendo tournament and I decide a scooter will solve many of my problems

These entries were originally written in a private journal, and were edited and published online in autumn 2024. The whole series can be here: Now I live in Japan

Day 114, 2/09, A Monday

I’m re-reading some of my more thoughtful entries. I’ve not been putting the energy I need to into my writing, not because nothing interesting has been happening to me, it’s just that I’ve been doing a poor job of writing. I don’t have the drive. I should be trying to write the Great American Novel, that was always the goal, wasn’t it? But I’m not and I probably won’t. Last year at college really drove into my skull the will to succeed and do better than everyone else. I don’t know if that’s a good thing. In fact, it’s almost certainly a bad thing.

The awkwardness around the subway card worked out today with Hanaka sensei. It wasn’t really awkward, I shouldn’t say that. I was able to pay her, and I think she appreciated the effort, or at least, I hope she did. I think I learned a little something today too, and that’s always a good feeling. Maybe one day I’ll even be able to talk to a Japanese. Right now, I can’t, except to fumble through some crap and make a fool out of myself. Today, the JWs came to the door and we weren’t able to talk at all, so I have a long way to go.

The class tonight was also terrible. Just one of the three teenage girls in the class showed up, the one who’s much better than the other two, so we went through about ten units in the book even though we were doing everything we could to slow the lesson down. After the class, she was waiting for her ride, but we left her there and started to come home. We got a few minutes away and DK was like, Crap, we probably shouldn’t have done that. So we went back under the pretense that I had lost something. I looked through the filling cabinet while DK stood out in the foyer and tried to make small talk with her.

I also made excellent time on my bike today, getting from Tenjin to the house in like 55 minutes. My shoulder’s been hurting though. I think part of it is from sleeping on the futon, part of it’s my shoulder bag, part of it is everything else. We’re coming up on five months, no porn, which seems like a bit of a miracle. My Ephesians study is going pretty well. I think I’m learning something and I’m taking good notes too. Maybe I’ll get it figured out one of these days. I would like to get this whole thing figured out.

Day 115, 2/10, A Tuesday

Somehow, during a conversation with Hagino san, DK mentioned his plan to stay here and I had to come out and say that I wanted to do the JET programme and that I wasn’t planning to stay in Fukuoka. I think Hagino san really understood though so that was much better than I worried it would be. I don’t know if it will get back to Miyauchi Sensei. I imagine that it will, but he’ll have to understand. We don’t have any more support from the States after next year and they really don’t need both of us to teach. I also made a comment about not being able to learn about the culture when you’re a missionary that DK picked up on and commented about. I’m really starting to think that though.

Anyway, after we talked to Hagino san, I spent the rest of the day thinking about what I said and realized how stupid it would be for me to go back to the States for nine months just so that I come back in July. I mean, I’ll just waste time at home, get a terrible job and be miserable. I’ll totally lose my language skills and basically have to start again when I come back. So I’m thinking about other options. I need a nine month assignment somewhere. Hopefully I’ll be able to find something.

Day 116, 2/11, A Wednesday

We stayed up late last night watching Ghandi, a movie that really touched me. I have been considering non-violence for quite some time now and this movie really just put it into perspective. It was beautiful in many ways. Ghandi was not a Christian of course, but his actions are so Christ-like. DK said that he was misguided and I didn’t really push him to find out what he meant by that. I didn’t think he was misguided. He said at one point during the movie that he was a Jew, a Muslim, a Christian, and a Hindu. I found it all to be a very challenging. How do I react in the face of oppression, what even is oppression? Wildly important question, I think.

Hagino san and DK and I went out to see a Kendo tournament at the local high school. Shiota san, one of our students, said we should go because her son’s team would be there and her son was going to fight. Well, we missed her son, but watched the tournament, and it was, like everything else, an incredible new experience, like nothing I’ve seen before. When we got into the gym, I had a feeling like I was home again. Especially being in a high school, I had a feeling like I was going to be coming back to a place like that. Hagino san and I also ate at McDonalds which was turned out to be pretty funny. We used coupons and took the food back to the apartment to eat, but she seemed more uncomfortable than usual.

Bible study was also good tonight. I’m doing better at reading the text in Japanese. I also asked Ishizuka san to tutor me in Japanese too, so now I’ll have two tutors and hopefully get twice as good, or better in half the time, or something.

Day 117, 2/12, A Thursday

I’ve been trying to just be content right now, and I think I’m doing a pretty good job at it. I’m trying to be more content in my prayer too and pray regularly for revival in Japan. Those seem like much more noble things to pray about then constantly whining about my situation here. I’ve been known to do that too much lately.

Today I helped with the mom and tot’s class. Mailed some stuff and spoke only Japanese in the post office which felt like a success: I was really pleased with myself and felt like I had accomplished something. Now, in other places, I will be able to speak only Japanese too. And one day, I will be speaking only Japanese. I thought about how incredible it would be to raise a bilingual child. My heart is really in that. Maybe it won’t ever happen, but I keep thinking it could.

Our class this afternoon was huge. Like nine kids. We had two inspections, which is what they call someone trying the class for the first time, including little Shiota san’s kid who was enjoying herself, I think. She had a pretty good understanding of the language. Cock-o-doodle-do boy, one of the kids that likes to crow like a rooster randomly, was on par tonight and manageable, if completely incomprehensible.

Day 118, 2/13, A Friday

I’m going shopping for a Vespa tomorrow, a surefire sign that I am thinking about staying in Japan for longer than a year. Having a Vespa would be so, so great. I could ride around and go to the beach whenever I wanted. I could ride it into the city for my Japanese lesson which would be much better than my current situation of having to ride my bike which takes too long or using the subway which gets expensive. I need to go looking for one this weekend.

I taught the morning class by myself today because DK had something to do online for his class. It went okay and DK took the other class we have with these two elementary school sisters, not that I really felt like I had to get out of it. The night class was about as bad at it normally is. I don’t think it can really get any better than it is. It’s just not a good class. But that’s okay. Came home, watched some more Hitchcock.

I rode my bike out to the beach and walked up and back and there were a load of blowfish washed up. Maybe a 100 even. I tried to pray (failed) and instead just walked and thought about everything I normally think about. That was good enough for prayer, I think. I’m very much leaning towards staying in Japan suddenly. I want to be a part of this still, I want to keep learning the language and maybe fall in love with a Japanese woman, etc.

I’m going to be getting a Japanese bible before long because I want to start learning to read it in Japanese. All the Kanji has the Hiragana right next to it so I can read that pretty well at this point. My knowledge grows a tiny bit every day. Soon, very soon, I will attain fluency, in maybe a bunch of years. Like 8 years. After I marry a Japanese woman, right? Right.

I would like to go see some jazz tonight. I don’t think that’s going to happen as it’s almost two in the morning and I’m close to putting on my pajamas.

Day 119, 2/14, A Saturday

Today was beautiful again. Maybe a little windy. But it was okay.  I went looking for a kite to fly and also to look for a Vespa, or some other small scooter. I didn’t find a kite, and I found out that the Vespa I wanted was too expensive. I took the subway out to Tenjin and went to the park. Japan is just beautiful.

DK got the Super Bowl on DVD so we watched it and watching it made me realize how fat and lazy and arrogant America comes across on TV, particularly in comparison to Japan. What is the Super Bowl of Japan and does it have commercials about Doritos? I doubt it.